Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The NHL Awards Shouldn't Suck

Jay Mohr is about as funny as his hairline
It was announced yesterday that Jay Mohr would be returning to Las Vegas to host the 2011 NHL Awards. Sigh...

The NHL always seems to disappoint when it comes to the NHL Awards. The NHL looks pretty low rate hiring a guy who has publicly announced he doesn't even like hockey to host their end of the year awards gala... for a second straight year. We wish Brendan Shanahan would take a look at the NHL Awards and give them a makeover like the All-Star Game because there is potential to make it a really fun night for the fans (other than the ones participating in a Dirty Dangle Drinking Game). Chaka Khan was bad, Jay Mohr is bad - learn from your mistakes. Here are some ideas for potential hosts:

  • Charlie Sheen - other than banging porn stars, what else is he doing? He might provide some good one liners about Gary Bettman and call Alex Ovechkin a troll
  • Vince Vaughn - we wonder if he would try and make Luongo's head bleed in person. This swinger would be a great host and he loves hockey so he might do it for free
  • Cuba Gooding Jr. - big hockey fan and loves the Kings. Would be fun to have him host and have him yell at Brad Richards all night "show me the money!"
  • Jeff Foxworthy - with Nashville starting to look like a hockey market, the white trash comedy of Foxworthy will help get viewers in the South to watch
  • Dave Chappelle - Was a comedy god before he took off to live in Africa for months. Would be worth hearing him say "I'm Jarome Iginla bitch"
  • Kevin Smith - he is a huge hockey fan and loves the New Jersey Devils. He if can some how turn the awards into anything like Clerks it will be gold.
  • Russell Peters - most of his act is making fun of brown people. Would be interesting to see how he ties it in with hockey
  • Carrie Underwood, Hilary Duff, and Willa Ford - They can co-host it and talk about how they love the name Mike.
Hockey players are funny guys, why not let them host the awards? Give these guys a chance:
  • Paul "BizNasty2point0" Bissonnette - follow his twitter, enough said.
  • Ilya Bryzgalov - his squeaky voice and jokes about Russia not being as cold as Canada would be non stop laughs
  • Sidney Crosby - one of the biggest stars in the NHL, although there is the chance he could get confused and forget his lines
  • Jeremy Roenick - always a funny guy off the ice, but there is a risk he might rip on too many players in the audience and Chris Pronger high sticks him in the face.
  • Gary Roberts and Scott Stevens - these guys would be so intense that they scare the shit out of everyone. Versus would make it an R rated broadcast.

12 comments:

  1. I vote for Kevin Smith! He is funny and knowledgeable and it doesn't hurt that he likes the Devs. Just check out some of his stand up on youtube! He would make the night fun!

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  2. Colby Armstrong would be a pretty funny host

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  3. NHL awards have been lame of late. If they are going to do it in Vegas they should get better musical acts.
    Chaka Khan..was brutal

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  4. Ilya Bryzgalov is a joke
    Is that his real voice..lol
    wow

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  5. They should have Sean Avery and Elisha Cuthbert host together!

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  6. they definitely need to retool the awards. a lot of potential... i like the idea of players hosting

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  7. Russell Peters is the man

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  8. I fully support Charlie Sheen hosting it. He'll probably be in Vegas anyways!

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  9. I am fine with Charlie Sheen hosting if he has that hottie Bree Olson by his side.

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  10. Roy and Roenick co-host.

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  11. Kevin Smith is actually an Oilers fan.

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  12. "I'm Jarome Iginla bitch"

    Gold

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