Saturday, July 30, 2011

Happy Trails Aki Berg!

Aki-Petteri Berg has called it quits on professional hockey. While most thought he did that as soon as he was traded to the Toronto Maple Leafs, he has now officially retired from pro hockey after five years in Finland. Drafted 3rd overall at the 1995 NHL Entry Draft by the Los Angeles Kings (try and read that without laughing), Berg's popularity in the NHL grew when he was traded to the Maple Leafs in 2001 for Adam Mair and a 2nd Round Pick which was used to select a player who we will not name.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Nikolai Khabibulin Reporting To Camp Early

This is NOT a picture from Henrik Zetterberg's wedding reception.
With Nikolai Khabibulin being sentenced to a 30 day jail term on Tuesday, most people thought it would be a cozy month in Arizona for The Bulin Wall. Then we found out he only serves 15 days in jail, with the other 15 days being electronically monitored at home - most people thought Colin Campbell actually handed down the sentence. But now we know where Khabibulin will be serving his time - in Maricopa County's Tent City.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

NHL Free Agents Are Expensive Lap Dances

This offseason, many GM's have made it rain on newly signed players
July 1st has come and gone, and as the dust settles from the free agent frenzy it's time to review some of the crazy contracts given out this offseason.

For some NHL GM's this offseason was like a 19 year old's first time at a strip club - tossing around large amounts of cash and regretting it later on. With a raised salary cap and limited crop of quality free agents, a spending panic occurred with many GM's showing the money to players and their agents.

Let's look at how some of this years signings compare to common personalities you might find at your local strip club:

The German Stripper who dances to Rammstein's Du Hast and intimidates you into overpaying
Christian Ehrhoff, Buffalo Sabres
10 years, $40M
Cap hit - $4M a year

While the cap hit is modest, the fact that Christian Ehrhoff will be one of the top paid players next season is ludicrous. The contract is front loaded with $18M of it coming in the first 2 years. New Sabres owner Terry Pegula opened the vault this offseason and tossed around some Euros and made it rain in Buffalo. Ehrhoff can log major minutes and quarterback the powerplay. But he has been known to give up the puck and make bad decisions when under pressure. His minus 13 during the playoffs last season is pretty glaring considering the Canucks did make it to the Stanley Cup Finals.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Dany Heatley Cottage Tour

Another Dany Heatley parody gem from a few years back, but still very laughable. Watch Heatley strut around his cottage like an All-Star and go swimming in the lake with his shirt on like a fat kid in Grade 7 pool class. Now that Heater's in Minnesota, will he buy another cottage on one of their 10,000 Lakes?

Friday, July 22, 2011

Winnipeg Jets Logo Revealed

After the tide of free agent frenzy has receded, usually the only worthy hockey news in late July or August seem to be NHL teams redesigning logos and jerseys, or Patrick Kane incidents. While Patrick Kane made news this week with wrist surgery, the Winnipeg Jets finally released what their new logo will be for their 2011-2012 comeback season.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Wax Stain Wednesday - Patrick Roy

Wax Stain Wednesday is a regular feature on Dirty Dangle. Our pal Dave at Wax Stain Rookie is an avid autograph and card collector and has some amazing experiences to share with us. WARNING: these posts may make you want to buy a Beckett and get those dusty hockey cards out from under your bed that you hide from your girlfriend like a secret porn collection.
Well Sam has finally showed up with the first post-strike TTM. I was beginning to wonder what happened to all my letters that were floating around out there. However, the first one that made it back is one that I would suggest gives me the most hope for all my outstanding requests! Who knew St. Patrick ’s Day was the 18th of July? Well in Nova Scotia it is!

Monday, July 18, 2011

Joe Sakic's Hole-In-One

Putting the puck in the net was pretty easy for Joe Sakic. It also looks like he knows his way around the golf course too. Sakic made this amazing shot over the weekend at the American Century Celebrity Golf Championship in Lake Tahoe and won $1 million from the tournament sponsors. $500,000 of it going to Lance Armstrong's Livestrong Foundation and the other $500,000 as a bonus to Sakic.

No word yet on how Burnaby Joe plans to spend his 500k, but Dirty Dangle will shovel his driveway for the rest of our lives if he is looking to donate to a good cause.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Ryan Strome Can Dangle

Check out this sick shootout goal by Ryan Strome over the weekend. Gotta love that he still went backhand roof on the helpless goalie who was down and out on his ass.


Friday, July 15, 2011

Bill Watters Doesn't Like Parades

Last week during his radio show, Bill Watters, got himself into some troubled water.

This is what Watters had to say about newly acquired Maple Leaf Cody Franson:

“Well, I’m at a loss. The only… you’ve got to look through his statistics, he’s got some offensive flair, he is not what you would call a rugged, truculent, testosteronic, guy… He’s more of a 3rd of July parade guy. He likes to enjoy the good life and I don’t, I just can’t put a reason behind why you’d give up on a 6’5 defenceman with offensive skill unless he’s just a bit too soft.”

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Ilya Bryzgalov - Boom or Bust?

We hope Bryzgalov doesn't wear that shirt in Philadelphia - things could get bad
$51M over 9 years is a lot for a goalie who hasn't won anything. Many people are calling it the worst contract signed this off season.

The Flyers have been searching for a top goalie for years and after watching the goalie circus they had going on during the playoffs upper management had enough. So they traded Matt Clackson who is just an AHL goon and a 2012 3rd rounder to the Coyotes for the negotiating rights to Bryzgalov.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

2011 Free Agency: No Sinkers, No Swimmers, Everyone’s Treading Water

  This is a post by Dirty Dangle's Ottawa Senators Devil's Advocate, Nick, here is Part I of II on NHL Free Agent Frenzy featuring what the Canadian NHL teams have done so far 
"Hey Jay, how long do we have to do this for?"
Now about a month ago, Dirty Dangle approached me asking for a post on the Binghamton Senators winning the Calder Cup. Initially, I agreed to it simply out of the satisfaction I would get from bragging about my team’s AHL affiliate; however, as I got around to writing it, it quickly become clear how unexciting the story was. In a nutshell, the Senators defeated Manchester (L.A. affiliate) by winning four OT games in the first round while trailing in the series 3-1 at one point, beat Portland (Phoenix affiliate) in the second round then swept Charlotte (Carolina affiliate), and finally downed Houston (Minnesota affiliate) in six games. Robin Lehner took the playoff MVP honours after taking the goaltending reins in the first round while Ottawa’s NHL youngsters (Butler, Z. Smith, Condra, and Cowen) and Bingo’s AHL superstars (Potulny, Locke, and Keller) were forces to be reckoned with. And, that about sums it up. Lackluster story in hindsight? Yeah, I told you.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Dany Heatley On Trade To Minnesota

The Free Agent Frenzy period hit a new high last week with a Sunday night announcement that Dany Heatley was traded to the Minnesota Wild for Martin Havlat. Both players had comparable seasons last year, but a big story line in the trade is that this is the 3rd team in 3 years for both players. How many fresh starts do you need?

Here's what Dany Heatley really thinks about the trade...

Big slap in the pads to Dirty Dickie for this link from OttawaGh0st

Friday, July 8, 2011

Welcome To Toronto, Ontario, USA

"So playing for Brian Burke is an automatic spot on Team USA right?"
While many Leaf fans were upset that Brad Richards picked the Big Apple and a huge front-loaded contract over playing in Toronto, but we were glad that Brian Burke didn't offer up any of the ridiculous contracts that many GMs have been handing out the last few years.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Cody Franson is the Talk of Leafland

NHL 11 knows the truth.
On Sunday afternoon, the Maple Leafs robbed the Nashville Predators at gun point and stole 23 year old defenceman, Cody Franson. They also tossed Matthew Lombardi into their sack in hopes he recovers from a concussion and becomes a gem.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

How the NBA Lockout Will Affect A Hockey Fan

With the NBA announcing a lockout last week, just like the NFL did a few months ago, this lockout will no doubt impact hockey fans everywhere. With two of the four major North American professional sports leagues potentially having no seasons, hockey fans have to be ready to adjust to some changes they might see this upcoming 2011-2012 NHL season. Here are a few things hockey fans will have to keep an eye out for:

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