Thursday, July 28, 2011

Nikolai Khabibulin Reporting To Camp Early

This is NOT a picture from Henrik Zetterberg's wedding reception.
With Nikolai Khabibulin being sentenced to a 30 day jail term on Tuesday, most people thought it would be a cozy month in Arizona for The Bulin Wall. Then we found out he only serves 15 days in jail, with the other 15 days being electronically monitored at home - most people thought Colin Campbell actually handed down the sentence. But now we know where Khabibulin will be serving his time - in Maricopa County's Tent City.

The prison is infamous for it's no nonsense system which includes 2 meals a day, no coffee, no cigarettes, no porno (gasp!), no television, and sleeping in tents. Yes, sleeping under the stars in the Arizona desert. The jail also issues pink underwear to inmates as an anti-theft measure. We wonder if any of the Oilers will show up to training camp to mock Khabibulin with the same attire.

Camping in 41 degree heat is probably a good deterrent for Khabibulin drinking and driving again, but we thought we could help Nikolai get through the next two weeks with a few ideas to help pass the time:
  • Grab a pad of paper and try and figure out the Oilers line combinations. That should take days.
  • I hear Sudoku helps kill time (I recently found out that its a numbers game, I had thought it was a nickname for anime porn).
  • Send letters to all the players who have scored on you in the past using magazine clippings.
  • Get inked. A nice huge Stanley Cup tattoo on your back should help hockey fans remember you actually did win a Cup in Tampa.
  • Try and make some friends to raise your street cred in hockey and become the most intimidating player in the NHL.
  • Realize that you're rich enough to pay for a cab, or at least share one with Patrick Kane.
Regardless, good luck in jail Khabby, hope you learn a lesson and keep your five hole closed.

7 comments:

  1. Khabby should work on stretching more so he doesn't get hurt this season

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  2. I can't believe this is a Tent Jail. Seems cruel!

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  3. Don't drink and drive kids. Trust Me

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  4. I bet he's roasting right now

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  5. Don't drop the soap Khabby

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  6. Loving your weather updates on triva..lol

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  7. opps
    meant your weather updates on Twitter.

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