Thursday, November 10, 2011

The Different Types of Fantasy Hockey GMs

Lance is a Fantasy Hockey Legend
NHL GM's are people, and like most people, they have personalities. Brian Burke is outspoken, Don Maloney doesn't take shit from unproven youth, Glen Sather likes to smoke cigars, and Garth Snow is... Garth Snow. When it comes to fantasy hockey, Fantasy GM's are no different. Fantasy owners have different characteristics that allow them to be classified. Here's a few of the different types of fantasy GM's you may have encountered over the years or will no doubt encounter this fantasy hockey season:

  • The GM that doesn't show up for the draft and complains about their team all season. Example: "I would probably be in first if I didn't autodraft Andrei Markov and Sidney Crosby"
  • The GM that offers you 3-for-1 deals all season long. Sorry, not really interested in dealing Pavel Datsyuk for 2 bench players and a guy you got off waivers.
  • The GM that complains about all the stats categories and wants PIMs out because he drafted a soft team.
  • The GM that never logs on again after the draft is done. Fucker.
  • The GM that jumps to the top of the standings in the first 3 months because they use up all their games per position. Maxed out by February and free fallin' to April.
  • The GM that drafts their favourite teams players way to early. Luke Schenn is was a solid D, but is shit for fantasy.
  • The GM that picks up and drops players every few days religiously.
  • The GM that forgets to draft a number one goalie and ends up with backup's all season. This is even better when all other GM's refuse to deal them a goalie.
  • The GM who drafted purely on Overall Rankings, and uses those rankings for arguing every trade is unfair.
  • The weak GM that everyone rips off. This GM is usually married with young kids or backpacking the world and doesn't have daily internet access.
  • The GM that drops a solid fantasy player for a flash in the pan grinder that just put up 2 goals and a helper against the Blue Jackets.
  • The GM that picks up a guy off waivers then includes him in trade offers for the next few weeks until he just drops him.
  • The GM that trys and swindles you when you are out drinking with them to do a deal. Never accept a deal at 2:30am when you are hammered.


  1. That photo shop is gold

    My rule is to never draft Maple Leafs. That way I can enjoy watching them play and not be thinking about my fantasy team all the time.

  2. Yahoo use to have a big problem with gm's just doing the drafts and then quiting on the team. I am glad they added mock drafts to guys can just do drafts if they want.

  3. Yahoo still has a huge problem with guys getting a team and then bailing.

  4. I agree
    There will always be Gm's that do the draft and just bail on the leauge.
    The only way to not have Gm's do that is make it a Money league. If you are paying to be in a league you will always try.


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