Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Players Behaving Badly: Stanley Cup Hangover Edition

The Boston Bruins are crawling their way out of the wine cellar in the Eastern Conference, but that won't stop hockey fans from calling their start to the NHL season a serious case of the Stanley Cup Hangover. Of the 17 defending champs since 1994, the Bruins had the worst record through 10 games with their 3-7-0 start. Some are shrugging the Cup Hangover off, but there is no arguing that some members of the Boston Bruins had some very rough mornings this past summer.

By now you've heard of the Bruins $150,000 bar tab from SHRINE at MGM Grand at Foxwoods, mostly in part to a $100,000 bottle of champagne, but a story of Players Behaving Badly unfolded that night that you can tell your kids before bed.
The Stanley Cup celebration started out as expected: drinking from the Cup and passing around germs without a care in the world. But then Zdeno Chara impressed everyone when he drank the jumbo bottle of champagne in one sip, which makes us wonder if he was drinking rum with his Coke on the Bruins bench...
One of the biggest stories from the Bruins Stanley Cup celebrations was the play of Brad Marchand. Yes, he played very well during the playoffs, but he really stepped up his game off the ice, although we're not sold on the popped collar.
Marchand seemed pretty tame to start the party as he lounged with the ladies, but then he climbed over the bar to grab a few more bottles of liquor. The bartender was surprised and threatened to kick him out, but than Milan Lucic yelled "DO YOU KNOW HE IS?!?" and everything was settled.
Marchand's bar-hop seemed to liven the party up as his shirt began to lose buttons. Marchand was told that if he took his shirt off he was going to have wear a fedora, which he proudly wore as he gave underager Tyler Seguin a few drinks.
Marchand then proceeded to work his hockey grinder skills on the dancefloor.
But the dance moves wore off and he decided to show his greatest talent yet: making out while holding 6 bottles of liquor! That's actually really impressive!
Up next, it was time to get others in on the no-shirts-party and he set his sights on the young, susceptible, Tyler Seguin. We assume it started with: "Hey bro, show them sure abs, bro."
Then: "Bro, let's show them our matching tats, bro... Hey, is mine spelt wrong?"
"Bro, why don't you just take it off so we can be like twins, bro!"
Marchand then saw Milan Lucic hoisting the $100,000 champagne bottle and went to see if he could get The Looch topless.
Marchand tried to get a friend to rip the shirt off, but was distracted when Lucic pointed across the room and said: "Look at Seg's wheel the rippers."
Lucic decided he'd seen enough and was taking the Cup upstairs to his room.
Many "2 Girls, 1 Cup" jokes were made.
And in the PG Version he shut it down for the night and slept like Sidney Crosby, you can figure out what he did in the adult tale.
THE END

7 comments:

  1. My girlfriend is in love with Seguin. I hate the douchebag

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  2. Marchand looks like such a pompous prick

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  3. Don't we all wish we were at those parties. Nothing better then winning the cup

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  4. I would be off my face if I just won the CUP!!!

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  5. its jokes cuz seguin isnt even 21

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    Replies
    1. yea but he's canadian we dont need to be 21 its 19

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