Thursday, December 29, 2011

The Best Names From The 2012 World Juniors

"FEUK! Another goal against."
The World Junior Hockey Championships are where teenagers become household names, and we can't help but love some of the names we're hearing so far. Here are our favourite names from the 2012 World Juniors:

Zemgus Girgensons - Latvia
I have always dreamed of hooking up with an Eastern European woman and having her tell me I have a Zemgus Girgensons. Not just a cool name, the 17-year-old Girgensons is also a great player and he should be the first Latvian born player to be taken in the 1st round of the NHL Draft this June.

Gaetan Haas - Switzerland
Gaetan isn't the mostly manly first name, but he makes up for it with a kick ass last name. Haas, which is also another way of saying Hoss, is just awesome. Picture Gord Miller saying "Haas drives to the net hard." The 19-year-old Haas struggled last year at the tournament, but will have to step it up this year to help the Swiss avoid getting blown out against some of the stronger teams.

Kriss Lipsbergs - Latvia
When I first heard this name, I thought the announcer said Licks Burgers and I got real hungry. And if he keeps scoring, I will be getting more and more hungry for a Licks homeburger.

Nail Yakupov - Russia
Nail for a first name sounds pretty badass. It's a nickname bikers earn after some sort of criminal initiation. Yakupov is one of the most exciting players in junior hockey and could be the NHL's number one pick overall this June.

Emerson Etem - USA
Emerson Etem sounds more like a B movie star, than a hockey player. Etem is lighting up the WHL this year with 30 goals in 34 games. He should be called on to be an offensive weapon this year for Team USA and we hope he logs on to Twitter to help pimp Medicine Hat tourism this tournament.

Dougie Hamilton - Canada
Most kids named Douglas will be nicknamed Dougie, but they don't go by it. Dougie Hamiltion should be one of the most exciting defenceman during the tournament. Hamilton is the full package with size and great offensive abilities.

Filip Forsberg - Sweden
Not going to lie, I thought his name was Flip. But Filip Forsberg still sounds like a made up name created on Sega's NHL 98 by a crazy Avalanche fan to be Peter Forsberg's twin brother, but this Forsberg is for real and will be exciting to watch. The 17-year-old Forsberg should be a top 5 pick this June at the NHL draft.

Boone Jenner - Canada
This sounds like one of the names you would get if you entered your name into a "Find out your Pornstar name" generators. Boone Jenner not only capivates you with his name, but is also a wrecking ball on the ice hitting everything that moves. Be prepared for over usage of "Boone goes the dynamite."

Charlie Coyle - USA
Forget Charles, and forget Boston University, Charlie Coyle is his own man, just like Charlie Conway. Should have a big tournament, but we're going to judge the shit out of him if he doesn't do a triple deke in a shootout.

Sebastian Feuk - Denmark
I cannot wait to hear Gord Miller say "What a save by Feuk!" and "Feuk lets in another one!" He'll have to be careful with this one.

Tim Wolf - Switzerland
The Swiss' starting goaltender has a great animal last name. Known for their stingy defensive play, it'll be interesting if Tim and his Wolfpack can make the qualifying round.


  1. I know this is mostly unrelated, but the best sports name ever has to be from 1998 to 2003, when the manager of VfL Wolfsburg (German football/soccer team) was Wolfgang Wolf.

  2. Wolfgang Wolf is pretty bad

    World Jr tourney has been great so far. Loving the upsets.

  3. I love Licks Burgers...

    Also did anyone notice Canada lost in the Spengler Cup to a team called the Wolfsburg Grizzly Adams today?


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