The Craziest Things We've Seen At Hockey Games

Yesterday, a stinky story emerged out of the New England Senior Hockey League. A man pooped in the hockey glove of an opponent and has subsequently been banned for life. This is probably the first instance of a hockey player taking a dump in a glove - an assumption we hope is true. The player is Zung Nguyen, which may or not be an alias Brad Marchand uses when he plays mens league hockey  (he is a shit disturber after all). While this is by far the craziest thing we've ever heard of happening at a hockey game, we've seen some pretty messed up stuff in our long, amateur careers.

Here are some of the craziest things we've witnessed at our hockey games.

• Following the post-game handshakes during a summer hockey game, the oldest guy on my team (around 55 years old) was one of the last guys on the ice heading for the exit when he was hit by the Zamboni. I shit you not (no pun intended), I've seen a guy get hit by a Zamboni. He managed to hold onto the front of the resurfacer while we got the Zamboni drivers attention to finally stop after pushing him 20 feet. The driver was in shock and couldn't believe he had run over a player. Thankfully, there were no injuries, but we did not see that Zamboni driver ever again, or the case of beer he promised us. 
• During one of my later years of hockey, guys used to strap their helmets on so tight to make sure their helmets wouldn't come off in fights. During one game, a goon on my team was struggling to get this guys bucket off in a fight, so he punched the helmet - which cracked and split in two. Needless to say, that guy got fed many left hooks as my teammate broke his right hand when he shattered the helmet.
• In the same later years of juvenile-aged goonery, a scene straight out of Happy Gilmore occurred when a crazy 6'4", 225lbs guy on my team got kicked out of the game. During the second period intermission, he put his skate on his hand and went into the other teams dressing room to try and fight their team - with his skate as a weapon. It took my three coaches to restrain him and force him out before anyone was injured. My head coach tossed the guy in the shower just like when Tom Hanks throws Kit in the shower to cool down in A League of Their Own and no more criminal acts took place.
• In a game in which half your team is ejected while the other team dives all over the ice, you can expect parents to get a little nutty. In their defence, it did seem like the referee was getting a cut from the other team. After another player was ejected for arguing a call, a parent wheeled out a big green garbage can and tossed it on the ice, spilling garbage everywhere. The referee and linesman both had to lift the big garbage can to get it off the ice while I had a good laugh from my goal crease. Oh yeah, the guy who through it was my Dad. 
• In a playoff highschool game with a decent sized home crowd out for us, one of my teammates received a dirty hit and the opponent was penalized. While in the penalty box conveniently located next to our student section, he began to taunt our fans. Not a good idea, considering we had the biggest guy in the school watching the game, who also happened to be a good friend of the player who received the dirty hit. He approached the penalty box which had an opening of about 4 inches next to the glass and grabbed the penalized players facecage. He then pulled the cage towards him in a move reminiscent of WWE and the player bounced off the glass (his head wasn't going to fit through the 4 inch gap) and flew back. The game was stopped until the fan left the building, which he did to cheers from the home crowd who also had to move over an entire section from the penalty box. 

What's the craziest thing you've ever seen at a hockey game? Any crazy hockey mom stories?