Thursday, June 30, 2011

Dirty Dangle Out Of Office...

Dirty Dangle is heading to cottage country this long weekend in search of the Muskoka Five and relaxation. We'll bring the funny on Twitter throughout Free Agent Frenzy where signings will be drunkenly debated on the dock - with the loser getting tossed in the lake.

Ekpunk on Free Agency

This is a running satirical segment in which Dirty Dangle's own, Ekpunk, will share with our readers some of his hockey rumours and topics from his "sources" around the NHL
Hello my amazing customers, I mean readers. With the Draft over, it is now time to look forward to July 1st - Free Agency. There's already been some trades and signings, but many big fish remain. Make sure to come to my site a few times a day to check for updates. Also for my season ticket holders you get to see my special rumour chart with completely different rumours there - so sign up!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Wax Stain Wednesday - Hockey Card Collection Worth

Wax Stain Wednesday will be a regular feature on Dirty Dangle. Our pal Dave at Wax Stain Rookie is an avid autograph and card collector and has some amazing experiences to share with us. These posts may make you want to buy a Beckett and get those dusty hockey cards out from under your bed that you hide from your girlfriend like a secret porn collection.
Well the postal strike is over and hopefully Sam and the autographs aren’t far behind. Sorry there was no post last week, but I decided to take a week off and get caught up on the many other things we all deal with in life. So with no mail over the last couple of weeks, I decided to answer a question many of you may have, but have never asked.

Are any of my hockey cards worth anything?

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Bears Playing Hockey?

We stumbled upon this and are baffled that we've never seen it before.
Warning: Some viewers may be offended by this video as it involves questionable treatment of animals in which bears are performing for entertainment as hockey players on skates

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Players Behaving Badly

With the recent departure of Mike Richards and Jeff Carter from the Philadelphia partying scene, it's time to look at what the city of Philadelphia will be getting back in return.
That's newly acquired Wayne Simmonds on the left, with Winnipeg Jets forward Anthony Stewart at centre, and his younger brother Chris Stewart of the St.Louis Blues on the right wing. Simmonds brings some speed and grit to the Flyers and his playing style alone should earn him some fan support as a hard working player. With Richards and Carter gone though, will Wayne have anyone to share a 60oz with?

Friday, June 24, 2011

2011 NHL Entry Draft Drinking Game

It's Friday night, why not have a little predrink fun before the bar while watching
your favourite NHL team draft their future, or throw it away like Mike Milbury...
If you are seeing double during this draft - stop drinking
Pick your own Draft Order for the 1st round or you can use a mock draft from your favourite blog or one of the many “expert” draft predictions out there (here's Bob McKenzie's rankings). Don't be an idiot and go too hard to the point where you're puking like these kids did after doing the VO2 max test at the Combine.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Jason Spezza, Future Leaf?

Haven't written about the Leafs in a long time as it was the playoffs... so here ya go...
As everyone knows the Toronto Maple Leafs need a number one playmaking centre to set up Phil Kessel. Earlier this year the Leafs had thought about getting Marc Savard from Boston, but after another serious concussion, the soon to be 34 year old might be done from hockey. The big fish this year in the UFA market will be Brad Richards and there will be many teams trying to lock him up. The Leafs will be one of those teams, but they should also see if they can pluck Jason Spezza from the Ottawa Senators.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Dirty Dangle 2011 NHL Awards Drinking Game!

The NHL Awards are as entertaining as a Sidney Crosby interview, so why not have a few drinks with your buddies to get you through the slow parts. Pick who you think will take home some hardware and follow along with the Dirty Dangle NHL Awards Drinking Game. After the awards are handed out, have your own after-party by grabbing your net and heading over to the nearby parking lot with a cube of beer for some drunken ball hockey with friends. Try and keep the sticks down - some of us have to work in the morning.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

End Of Season Awards

NHL Awards - Nobody leaves without a trophy in their arms
With the NHL season officially at a close and the biggest trophy of them all handed out, we suited up and held our own Awards Show at the Legion. We were half in the bag when we arrived, and a majority of the show was a blur, but we were told that we were much funnier than Jay Mohr - no easy feat. Here are the Dirty Dangle End Of Season Awards.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Hit of the Playoffs

By definition, this is not a blindside hit, as the receiver sees the the Hulk running at him before being sent flying into the cement - 2 minutes for charging at the very least. This video shows the hit and some brave Vancouverites trying to protect their city. Good work guys.

New Vancouver Stanley Cup Riot 2011 Hockey Cards

Vancouver had its second Stanley Cup Riot - almost 17 years to the date - since 1994 after losing the Stanley Cup Final in Game Seven. Those that participated in the violent destruction of Vancouver and looting of local businesses will hopefully be brought to justice as their crimes were broadcast and captured by the world last night. We cardboarded some fools from the 1994 Riot recently, and now we will brand those from the 2011 Riot as Fools of the Game.
The Fire Starter Fools of the Game collectible card is distant cousin of the past "Fire on Ice" series. The card features an alleged fan posing in front of a flaming car. The Fire Starter is used to lighting chimineas in his backyard, but saw an opportunity to graduate to a higher level - teddy bears and vehicles. Will sometimes answer to the name Brock Anton.

Why The Boston Bruins Won The Stanley Cup

  • The Sedin's went missing... Like... Phil Kessel Missing...
  • Brad Marchand's nose for the net led the way with 11 goals, 5 of which came in the Finals
  • Roberto Luongo chirped Tim Thomas after Game 5 - The Hockey Gods don't like that. How can you chirp Tim Thomas anyways? He seems like such a nice guy.
  • Keith Ballard shitting the bed and getting scratched most of the playoffs while making $4.2M for the next 4 seasons...
  • The Bruins wanted to win in Canada so 19 year old rookie, Tyler Seguin, could celebrate legally
  • Two Swedes and a Cup is not a video I'd want to see as the sequel to 2 Girls 1 Cup.
  • Canucks had no secondary scoring - check that - they had nobody scoring. 8 goals in 7 games is not going to win you a championship
  • Don Cherry would say that the Bruins had more Canadian born players so that's why they won
  • The Canucks didn't have a chance against the Cam Neely Curse.
  • There were also rumblings that Cam "The Hoss" Neely threatened most of the Canucks lives
  • He wasn't flashy, but Tomas Kaberle did put up 11 points during these playoffs, including a team leading 5 powerplay points (ok that's not much, but he still led)
  • Patrice Bergeron put up 20 points in 23 games, but most importantly shut down the other teams top lines during the playoffs on his way to a +15 rating
  • Defence wins championships and the Bruins had 13 players in the top 15 for plus minus with Chara leading the way with as a + 16
  • TIM THOMAS - the best road hockey and ice hockey goalie in the world.
  • David Krejci with little fanfare led the playoffs in points with 23, including 4 game winning goals
  • Milan Lucic put the team on his massive curved shoulders and led the way physically for the Bruins
  • Shawn Thornton only played 7 minutes a night during the playoffs, but used them wisely and had a huge impact as a role player
  • In the game of life a 7 foot Czech always beats a Swedish Ginger (unless you are at the rippers)

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Vancouver Canucks Motivational Mountain Revealed

Earlier this week it was noted the Vancouver Canucks have been using a motivational tool throughout the playoffs - a picture of a mountain with the Stanley Cup on the top. With each win the Canucks earn, a carabiner is added to a chain that strings to the summit of the mountain. Along the chain up the mountain are base camps that represent each round of the playoffs. While a picture of the board was recently released, there are some details you can't quite make out on the mountain. For instance, for every round, the Canucks have added a player from their opposition in which they must defeat to continue further up the mountain. Lucky for our readers, we've obtained close up photographs of the Canucks motivational tool as pictured above.

Wax Stain Wednesday - Elmer Lach

Wax Stain Wednesday will be a regular feature on Dirty Dangle. Our pal Dave at Wax Stain Rookie is an avid autograph and card collector and has some amazing experiences to share with us. These posts may make you want to buy a Beckett and get those dusty hockey cards out from under your bed that you hide from your girlfriend like a secret porn collection.
Well I was beginning to wonder if I was going to have a TTM success this week or if I was going to share something different with everyone, but sure enough Sam the mailman came through in the clutch with another envelope. Have you ever wondered who the oldest surviving former NHL player? (Answer: Al Suomi - 97 years old). Well as I have been writing letters and mailing them off, I have been thinking that there are many players in their late 80’s and 90’s who have limited time left on this planet. If I want a chance to have them read a letter of mine and maybe get their signature I need to focus my attention on some of the former great players.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Daniel Sedin Makes Messier Guarantee

Daniel Sedin may have taken seven too many punches from Brad Marchand last night, as following the game, he guaranteed his Canucks would win Game Seven of the Stanley Cup Finals at home Wednesday night. It's always interesting when professional athletes say things like this and it will no doubt add to the drama that will unfold Wednesday night. Does Daniel score a hat trick and save his best game for last? Or... do the Bruins chase Boo-ongo out of net again and win the series' first game on away ice.

Fans of the Game Hockey Card - Vancouver Rioter

Hockey players have long been collected and traded on cardboard by hockey fans, and even more recently - celebrity hockey fans - have been printed in hockey card sets. Now it's time for regular hockey fans to be cardboarded as well with their very own Dirty Dangle Fans of the Game hockey card honouring those fans who have really showed their passion this past year!
The Vancouver Rioter Fans of the Game Hockey Card is a classic gem from 1994. After a Game Seven Stanley Cup Final defeat by Mark Messier and the New York Rangers, thousands of Canucks fans took to the streets of Vancouver. An estimated 50,000 to 75,000 fans swarmed the streets, especially at the corner of Robson and Thurlow. Initially an upbeat gathering, mob mentality and alcohol took over with fights and mosh pits becoming the norm. Fans climbed on top of stores, street signs, and even tried to tightrope walk on the hydro wires above the streets. With that said, we also give you the limited edition Cirque Du Stupide Fans of the Game Hockey Card:

Monday, June 13, 2011

Stanley's in the House Tonight

Is Stanley making an appearance tonight in Boston?
Tonight there is a chance that Vancouver Canucks captain Henrik Sedin will be lifting up the Cup and passing it around to his teammates like a joint at a bush party bonfire. Or, he could pull a Dirk Nowitzki and run into the dressing room for a few minutes leaving the hockey world confused.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Dirty Dangle Fans of the Game Hockey Cards!

Hockey players have long been collected and traded on cardboard by hockey fans, and even more recently - celebrity hockey fans - have been printed in hockey card sets. Now it's time for regular hockey fans to be cardboarded as well with their very own Dirty Dangle Fans of the Game hockey card honouring those fans who have really showed their passion this past year!
A recent attendee of the 2011 Stanley Cup Playoffs in Vancouver, the Boob Flasher became a cyber-sensation after she was spotted on CBC's Hockey Night in Canada feed pressing her Sedin twins up against the penalty box glass. Thanks to a readied photographer, the Boob Flasher was captured in her moment of fame and may very well be in a History Will Be Made commercial soon about fan passion revealing itself. The Boob Flasher is the first card of many in the Dirty Dangle Fans of the Game hockey card collection, keep following as we release more in the set!

This might be the Boob Flasher's rookie card, but it looks like she has some experience... maybe Spring Break?

Thursday, June 9, 2011

If I Fought Brad Marchand

This whole "If I Fought" thing started while watching a Leaf game and witnessing Matt Stajan get slapped around behind the net, with his helmet falling off and his receding hair line overwhelming the TV. I called Matt Stajan a pussy and my mouthy little shit of a brother replied that Stajan could take me, and thus an on-going joke that Matt Stajan could beat me up was born and will now last a life time. This will be an ongoing segment in which I take on some of the weaker NHLers in which I'm overly confident I would win fights against.
If you have been watching the Stanley Cup Playoffs, you may have noticed that Brad Marchand is a little shit and seems to have opposing teams hating him from the get go. Well that was my first reaction to him when I first met him a few years ago at a Boston Pizza.

It was the spring of 2008 and Brad was still playing for the Halifax Mooseheads of the QMJHL. It was the playoffs and I can remember watching one of their games against the Gatineau Olympiques who had Claude Giroux dangling everyone all over the ice (he had 51 points in 19 playoff games that year). I can remember Marchand taking a penalty and Halifax's home fans booing him and calling him a punk. It was very odd.


Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Wax Stain Wednesday - A Tale of Two Steves

Wax Stain Wednesday will be a regular feature on Dirty Dangle. Our pal Dave at Wax Stain Rookie is an avid autograph and card collector and has some amazing experiences to share with us. These posts may make you want to buy a Beckett and get those dusty hockey cards out from under your bed that you hide from your girlfriend like a secret porn collection.
This week, I am going to tell you a tale, a tale that began in 1961 and would span several decades and continues even today. Over 50 years ago there were two families. One family was living in Peterborough and the other in Etobicoke. Each would welcome a baby boy during the spring of 1961. First, it was the Ludzik's on April 3 and they named their son Stephen, and then the Larmers would follow on the 16th of June and they too would name their son Steven. However, as time would go on, both boys would be called Steve.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Just Like Barq's Root Beer, Burrows Has Bite

With all the bite talk in these Stanley Cup Finals, Alex Burrows could very well be on his way to an endorsement with Barq's Root Beer. After his Game One "inconclusive" bite of Patrice Bergeron in which the NHL swept the matter aside, it seems as though the players have decided to handle the matter internally. Maxim Lapierre, Mark Recchi, and Milan Lucic have all exchanged gestures mocking the biting incident and are turning the Finals into a circus.

Monday, June 6, 2011

The Last Time The Canucks Played For The Cup...

Trevor Linden not only touched the Clarence Campbell Bowl, he broke it. That couldn't be good.
The year was 1994. Pat Quinn was the coach and the team had an average regular season going 41-40-3 during the then 84-game-regular season. Their 85 points placed them 2nd in the Pacific Division and 7th in the Western Conference. The Canucks 23-year-old captain, Trevor Linden, and 22-year-old sniper, Pavel Bure, were studs during the regular season. Pavel Bure led the league in goals with 60 and racked up 107 points, while Linden potted 32 goals and 61 points. Veteran player Geoff Courtnall scored 26 goals and had 70 points, while Cliff Ronning had 68 points. Gino Odjick also had great fantasy hockey numbers - 16 goals for 29 points and 271 PIMSs - I would have been using my last pick on him for sure.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Hardships Of A "Bruins" Fan In Vancouver


This is a great video from Vancouver comedian Andrew Barber about Greg "a big Boston Bruins fan" living in Vancouver. Greg thinks the Sedin's are bullshit and doesn't like the feeling of being in a diorama. Greg is firm believer in Tim Thomas and his band of terribly talented beautifully bumblebee coloured men, right up until the point where he finds the Raffi Torres railroad tracks and ponders his Bruins potential against the Canucks. We only have one dispute about Alex Burrows having more heart than the floor of a cardiac surgery room at the Boston Medical Centre on Whopper Wednesday, as talking about Burger King might make him hungry.

Here is a follow up video after Game 1 in which Greg is upset over the unfairness of 2-on-1's and Dan Ham-Weese's hipcheck on Milan Lucic.

The Last Time The Bruins Played For The Stanley Cup...

The last time the Boston Bruins made the Stanley Cup Final was 1990. The NHL was a 21 team league back then, and coach Mike Milbury guided the Bruins to a league best record 45-25-9 for 101 points. That NHL season the Bruins were the best defensive team with the goalie tandem of Andy Moog and Reggie Lemelim only allowing a league-low 232 goals.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Flashback Friday: Atlanta Thrashers Playoff Hockey

With the Stanley Cup Playoffs in full swing, we are going to flashback on some of the greatest playoff moments. The Playoffs are great for creating those special moments where a goal, a pass or dangle become frozen in time and a recurring memory for hockey fans to look back on.
Little did Thrashers fans know that their last-ever playoff game would also happen that week
With the official announcement that the Atlanta Thrashers franchise would be moving to Winnipeg for the 2012-13 season, it's time to look back at the history of the Thrashers in the playoffs. It's a short history, but it's worth a flashback.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Did God Tell Brian Rafalski To Retire?

Brian Rafalski is trading in his Red Wings for some angel wings
Last week, Detroit Red Wing defenceman Brian Rafalski decided to call it quits at age 37 and retire from professional hockey. By doing so, Rafalski turned down making $6M dollars next season on the last year of his $30M, five-year contract. For an average dude like me who lives pay cheque-to-pay cheque and considers going to East Side Mario's a fancy dinner - it blows my mind when professional athletes retire with some gas left in the tank.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Wax Stain Wednesday - Andy Bathgate

Wax Stain Wednesday will be a regular feature on Dirty Dangle. Our pal Dave at Wax Stain Rookie is an avid autograph and card collector and has some amazing experiences to share with us. These posts may make you want to buy a Beckett and get those dusty hockey cards out from under your bed that you hide from your girlfriend like a secret porn collection.
Jacques Plante is relieved this Andy Bathgate shot was not head high
This week’s TTM involved a little switcheroo. I wrote a letter to Andy Bathgate and mailed away a 06-07 Parkhurst card. Here is what the card looked like (minus the Upper Deck watermark):
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