Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Everybody Hates Gary

Gary Bettman isn't very well liked among hockey fans. There's a reason he's booed every time he's in public and websites like www.garybettmansucks.com and www.firebettman.com exist. Perhaps it's because of his overseeing of expansion and relocation into non-traditional hockey markets, or maybe it's because he makes $8M a year. Well those probably add to the hatred, it's probably because he's presided over two NHL lockouts including the 2004-05 lost season in which the NHL became the first North American sports league to cancel an entire season due to a labour dispute. As each day passes in September, a third lockout under Bettman's tenure as NHL commissioner looms, and the hate builds even more.

While Bettman isn't the only villain in the CBA talks with many of the NHL owners coming off as greedy hypocrites, Bettman is the source of hate as their representative. Gary Bettman is like that movie villain you just hate so much because they play the part so well. With that said, let's compare Gary "The Most Photoshoppable Man" Bettman to some of our favourite movie villains.

Gary Bettman is like the Wicked Witch of the West, although "of the South" may be more fitting for his love of expansion in that direction. 
Gary Bettman is like Kevin Bacon's character, Wade, in The River Wild - a thief who ruins family bonding trips and creeps out Meryl Streep.
Gary Bettman is like Lord Voldemort - a sinister bastard who feels no sympathy for hockey fans (a.k.a Muggles) who suffer during NHL lockouts.
Gary Bettman is like Biff Tannen - a d-bag who needs to stop playing with the future. 
Gary Bettman is like Hans Gruber in Die Hard.You can just picture Gary Bettman ruining a Christmas Party on Christmas Eve.
Gary Bettman is like Johnny Lawrence from The Karate Kid and needs to be taught a lesson with a swift kick to the chin by Daniel Sedin-san.
Gary Bettman is like Roger "Verbal" Kint - telling lies to protect his own interests (photo has been altered to reflect Bettman's height).

15 comments:

  1. I mainly hate the way he talks. Just sounds like a pompous prick. Go back to the NBA!

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  2. Bettman compared to Verbal in pure genius.

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  3. This wasn't very good.

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    1. We shall strive for better, Thanks for the comment

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  4. who is keyser soze?

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  5. You don't like him because he expanded the sport so that it can become more popular??? How dare he! What an awful man that guys is....

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  6. Atlanta was a good expansion. Phoenix sure gets fans out. Columbus is competitive. The only thing those cities got was an embarrassment.

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    1. Its not the expansion people hate( except for canadians, they seem to think canada needs twenty teams and it DOES NOT) He has let two lockouts happen, one of which was the worst in sports history, and hes about to let a third one happen. He never seems to do anything for the fans except mention them offhand in a speech. He just has an "I dont care" aura about him. He needs to fire everyone ever involved with his PR and get a fresh image.....in the NBA or MLS.

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  7. Also whoever owns the fliers......that person can go catch aids. I would choke him with the actual papers offer sheets are made on. Shea WEBER is a Pred 4 life!!!!! Smashville proud baby!!!

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  8. Call me anonymous Paul.
    Dangle, ignore Anonymous no. 2. this was inspired.
    Why do we hate Bettman. He's American, he's a lawyer, he's insufferably arrogant, he's short and unattractive and clearly never spent a minute playing hockey growing up or as he likely calls it, "ice hockey" - as if there is any other kind. He probably doesn't even like sports!

    Put his head on the Alien Queen in Aliens. "Get away from her you bitch!"
    In the Hannibal Lecter mask, in a Darth Vader helmet, on the head of a T100 metal skeleton.

    He's an evil genius who will know will fuck everything up and there is no Bruce Willis coming to plant a bullet in the middle of his forehead.
    No there is a photoshop project for you.

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  9. And the Hillbilly from Deliverance. The soooeeee ass fucker, because that is what Gary has been doing to us since he became the prez.

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  10. 4 lockouts under him! Comment up above. 2 is more than enuff but 4 is outrageous!! I understand he is the owners voice. I still dislike his composure n personality. My opinion. But id hate to b hated on everywhere i go lol. I just want hockey. Split the profit 50/50. Please. No1 is starvin. Howe n his peers HAD to wrk in the offseason!! Players nowadays r MADE lIke the mafia. But i still understand y they stand their ground. Ted Lindsay stood his ground rightfully so along with others. They revolutionized the system n desrrved what they stood for.

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