Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Unbreakable: Career PIMs

This is a feature that will showcase an NHL record that we believe is unbreakable. And no, these won't just be "Wayne Gretzky is God" posts, they will be records from a wide variety of players.
Record: Most Career PIMs
Holder: Dave "Tiger" Williams with 3,966 PIMs

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

When NHL Twitter Accounts Go Bad

Last Friday, the Calgary Flames official Twitter account sent out the above tweet, deleted it, and quickly apologized for sending it out. Clearly the Flames Social Media Guy was a little hungover and forgot to switch Twitter accounts, but it made for hilarious commentary surrounding the extension of Ales Hemsky. Unfortunately for the Flames Social Media Guy, somebody managed to screen capture the tweet and it will now live on forever on the world wide web. However, this isn't the first time that a team's Twitter account have accidentally sent out a tweet that wasn't meant to be seen. We dug through the archives and discovered these screencaps of deleted tweets:

Monday, February 27, 2012

Dirty Dangle 2012 NHL Trade Deadline Drinking Game!

Whether you're calling in sick today or feel like putting a little something in your coffee at work, join us for the 2012 Dirty Dangle NHL Trade Deadline Drinking Game - we know Mike Richards and Jeff Carter will be playing along. We suggest starting the day with the Breakfast of Champions: beer and pancakes in honour of Dustin Penner (who might be moving today if a GM is trying to lose their job). Whatever your poison - Irish Coffee, Screwdriver, red wine in a Coke can - make sure to drink responsibly and don't be an idiot. Also, if you drive a bus or work with kids, it might be best to make a tally throughout the day and catch up after work with friends at a bar, or alone.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Rules For Tweeting During Trade Deadline Day

Trade Deadline Day is a big day in the hockey world. Some call it an unofficial holiday, some call it a waste of time, but all hockey fans will tune in or follow along. To make the day go as smoothly as possible, there are some important rules you have to follow if you're going to be tracking trade talk on Twitter. It's very easy to annoy people or cause shit on Trade Deadline Day, so here here are a few rules and tips on how to avoid being the Sean Avery of your Twitter feed.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Retro Fantasy Hockey: Ray Bourque

Retro Fantasy Hockey is a feature that will take you back to an outstanding fantasy 
hockey performance by a player or goalie in which their stats would have made you 
drool at the time, if not have you still drooling, as they were just that exceptional.

Year: 1993-94
Player: Ray Bourque

There are few defenceman that go in the first round of fantasy hockey drafts, but there are also few defenceman like Ray Bourque. While he had some amazing fantasy hockey years as a d-man, one stands out when we look at his stats - the 1993-94 season. (Editors note: some season statistics are unavailable for 1980s so this season reflects his best)

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Wax Stain Rookie: Carey Price

Wax Stain Wednesday is a regular feature on Dirty Dangle. Our pal Dave at Wax Stain Rookie is an avid autograph and card collector and has some amazing experiences to share with us. WARNING: these posts may make you want to buy a Beckett and get those dusty hockey cards out from under your bed that you hide from your girlfriend like a secret porn collection.
Being a Montreal Canadien has its own pressures as Carey Price has found out over the last few years, but when you compare other goaltenders in the league there may be only one other goalie who has to play under the same pressure and that would be Roberto Luongo. The main difference between the two is Carey Price doesn’t have the luxury of two Art Ross winners playing in front of him.

The Kings Goal Scoring Is All Dried Up

Things just aren't clicking in Los Angeles these days as the goals have dried up. The Kings have scored a league low 124 goals in 60 games - just 2.07 goals a game. They've been shutout eight times this season for 2nd most in the league, and this includes five 1-0 losses. If it wasn't for some stellar goaltending from Jonathan Quick, the Kings wouldn’t be anywhere near the playoffs. They are currently sitting in 8th right now with the Calgary Flames and Dallas Stars hot on their heels.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Operation Repo: Zamboni Edition

While it is one of the worst shows on TV, Operation Repo sometimes has a Trailer Park Boys feel to it when shit like this happens on it. Here they try and repossess a Zamboni from a rink and are attacked and snowed by hockey players. The good stuff happens at the 3:00 minute mark:

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Check Out These Stats

To help kill the time at work I like to bbm and text multiple girls, but I also like to go through NHL stats and look for numbers that jump out at me. No matter how often I'm cruising through stat pages I'm always guaranteed to find a stat that makes me say "wow, that is messed up" and stop to make sure I'm reading it right.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Where Will Rick Nash Land If Traded?

Earlier this week, the Rick Nash rumours started when Columbus Blue Jackets GM, Scott Howson, made it known that he was open to all options to improving the team, and would listen to trade offers for his captain, Rick Nash. Howson was fleeced in the Jeff Carter deal and now has other GM's circling his team like hawks looking for scraps.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Wax Stain Rookie: Thomas Vanek

Wax Stain Wednesday is a regular feature on Dirty Dangle. Our pal Dave at Wax Stain Rookie is an avid autograph and card collector and has some amazing experiences to share with us. WARNING: these posts may make you want to buy a Beckett and get those dusty hockey cards out from under your bed that you hide from your girlfriend like a secret porn collection.
This week’s auto is from Thomas Vanek who some may not know, is the GREATEST hockey player in the history of Austria and is currently 9th among active players in goals per game (tied with Marian Hossa and just behind Jarome Iginla). One neat fact is there have been just 9 players born in Austria who have made it all the way to the NHL. From that list, I would have to say that Michael Grabner would be the next best Austrian born hockey player which unfortunately exposes everyone to the less than stellar talent that has left that country over the last 30 years. However, having a very talented NHLer from Austria could help expose more children and people to the game which in turn could inspire the next great player to lace up some skates.

Vincent Lecavalier Should Be A Hab, Not A Has-Been

With all this Rick Nash trade talk going on, we think it's time for another NHL captain who has only played in one city to move on. We think it's time Vincent Lecavalier becomes part of the Montreal Canadiens. It's a rumour that has been around for years and peaked in 2009 when there seemed to be a deal in place, but Lecavalier remains in Tampa Bay. Vinny has said he is happy playing in Tampa and he always seems to be one of the most tanned hockey players so he obviously enjoys the warm weather, but we think it's time he came home.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentine's Day Cards: Hockey Edition

It's Valentine's Day, which means hearts, chocolate, expensive dinners, flowers, and cards. While these are all a means to getting laid, there are not that many hockey related Valentine items out there for us hockey lovers. The NHL is really missing out on an opportunity to capitalize on the commercialization of Valentine's Day. Well luckily for hockey fans, we've taken it upon ourselves to create these cards for you to share with the guy/girl whose pants you want to get into. Here are a few Valentine's Day cards for hockey fans (feel free to share):

Monday, February 13, 2012

NHL Free Agents Are Expensive Lap Dances: How Are The Strippers Doing This Season?

Andrei Markov doesn't draw the biggest crowds these days
Following free agency we compared the NHL free agent signings to the types of girls you might meet at a gentleman's club. NHL GM's were spending cash like crazy as if it were there first time visiting a rippers, and now it's time to see if they're regretting making it rain on their free agent signings last summer. Let's revisit the strip club and see how the signings are working out:

Andrei Markov a.k.a. The Old, Bleached-Blonde Stripper Who Only Works One Night A Week

Markov hasn't played a game this season, but has earned pretty good coin from his 3 year, $17.25M contract. The Canadiens have two more years of paying him $5.75M a season and as a Leaf fan this makes me smile. While Markov hasn't had the greatest luck in recent years, the Habs took a risk on him and are feeling it as they're powerplay ranks 29th and they sit outside the Eastern Conference playoffs.

Verdict: Was supposed to be on the main stage five songs ago, but never showed up to dance

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Hockey Day In Canada!

Peeling potatoes in Prince Edward Island!
It's Hockey Day In Canada! With all the Canadian teams in action across the country and many matinee games south of the border, it's going to be a great day. This year, Hockey Day In Canada will be broadcast from Prince Edward Island and you can expect the regular features the day holds: Ron MacLean reading poetry about frozen landscapes, Don Cherry be treated like a God (or Shakespeare), heartwarming stories of communities coming together, goofy Ron MacLean sweaters, and footage of kids playing shinny. It's going to be an occupy-your-couch-kind-of-day and here are some quick Hockey Day In Canada facts to keep in mind throughout the day:
  • This is the 12th Hockey Day In Canada. Started in 2000 and only missed one year due to the NHL lockout of 2005.
  • With P.E.I hosting this year, there are two remaining provinces/territories yet to host: Northwest Territories and Quebec. 
  • There are approximately 572,411 registered hockey players in Canada, just over 4 times the population of Prince Edward Island (140,204).
  • With 7 Canadian teams this year, there will be an American team joining the broadcast, the Sidney Crosby-less Pittsburgh Penguins. This marks the 3rd time an American team has taken part in the event (Colorado Avalanche and Detroit Red Wings in 2008).
  • With a 7-2-1-1 record, the Vancouver Canucks have the best Hockey Day In Canada record. The Edmonton Oilers have the worst with a 2-7-0-1 record. 
  • Brad Richards is the most successful hockey product out of P.E.I (in case you didn't know from the 2004 Stanley Cup Playoffs). With 750 points, a Stanley Cup, a Conn Smythe, and a Lady Byng, he is the biggest potato of the bunch from P.E.I.
  • One of the events taking place in P.E.I is a game between the University of Prince Edward Island and St. Thomas University Tommies. Last year's playoff darling, Joel Ward, played four seasons at UPEI.
  • "The Hockey Song" legend, Stompin' Tom Connors, grew up on Prince Edward Island.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Go-Go Dancing The Zamboni

Ever wonder what happened to the go-go dancers from the Don Cherry Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em 5? Well, it looks like they're working in Austria taking their dance moves on top of Zamboni's during intermissions.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Hockey's Endangered Plays List: The Hip Check

This will be an ongoing series of hockey plays that are at risk of extinction because of their 
rarity in numbers or are threatened by changing environmental and regulation parameters.
Editors Note: We asked Brad Marchand if he wanted to guest blog for this post with the success of his online diary, but we never heard back from him.

Hockey Play: The Hip Check
Conservation Status: Vulnerable

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Wax Stain Rookie: The Golden Jet

Wax Stain Wednesday is a regular feature on Dirty Dangle. Our pal Dave at Wax Stain Rookie is an avid autograph and card collector and has some amazing experiences to share with us. WARNING: these posts may make you want to buy a Beckett and get those dusty hockey cards out from under your bed that you hide from your girlfriend like a secret porn collection.
This week’s post is about two autographs I recently received in the mail from arguably one of the best players to ever play the left wing, Bobby Hull. In his professional hockey career which includes time in both the NHL and WHA and spanned 4 decades, Bobby played in over 1400 regular season games and scored 913 professional hockey (regular season) goals. Even though, 303 of those goals were in the WHA (where the talent was a little below the NHL standard), his 610 career NHL goals were good enough for third in NHL history at the time of his retirement. Thanks to high scoring hockey in the 80’s and many talented NHL players coming into the league over the last 30 years, Bobby Hull has fallen to 16th on the NHL all-time goals list. Making all things equal, Bobby Hull does rank 9th and 3rd in career goals per game in the NHL and WHA respectively.

Goalie Trips, Gets Hit By Referee In Austrian Winter Classic

When you pull your goalie for an extra attacker, you want them to get to the bench as fast as possible. However, skating as hard as you can with giant pillows on your legs and weird skates can sometimes result in disaster. Slovenian goaltender, Matija Pintarič, found this out during the Erste Bank Hockey League (Austrian Hockey League) 2012 Winter Classic between his HDD Tilia Olimpija Ljubljana and KHL Medveščak Zagreb as he skated to the bench for an extra attacker.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

The Worst Hockey Profile Picture We've Ever Seen

We've seen some pretty bad hockey profile pics out there, but this one has to take it.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Rick Nash Has To Want Out Of Columbus Right?

"When I grow up I want to play for a small market expansion team"
The Blue Jackets made a big splash this past offseason and overpaid for defenceman James Wisniewski and gave up some youth to acquire Jeff Carter in a trade. Carter has only played 31 games so far and there are already rumours he will be dealt this trade deadline. You have to wonder if Rick Nash is jealous.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

(Fantasy) Season Affective Disorder

By: Nick, Dirty Dangle's Ottawa Senators Devil's Advocate
Each year, as winter rolls around, health care practitioners take to different mediums to share with us the dangers of seasonal affective disorder. Sometimes called the winter blues, seasonal affective disorder is a form of depression that results from the changing levels of light. It’s a severe problem that affects a substantial number of Canadians, but must not be mixed up with another disorder of the similar name, (Fantasy) Season Affective Disorder.

What is (Fantasy) Season Affective Disorder? It’s the realization that:
your fantasy HOCKEY team is DOOMED.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Drunk Zamboni Driving

Have you ever been waiting to go on the ice and the Zamboni is taking forever? Sometimes they do an extra lap or just seem incompetent at their job when all you want to do it be out their playing. Well, imagine waiting half an hour while a hammered Zamboni driver struggled to manoeuvre the machine and crashed into the boards multiple times.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Hockey In A Super Bowl Ad? Sounds Good To Me

When you think of Super Bowl commercials you probably don't think of hockey. You most likely think of Danica Patrick teasing you, Where's The Beef?, Mean Joe Greene, or my personal favourite, herding cats (big shoutout to JKM - the best cat wrangler I know). But this year Budweiser will be featuring hockey in a commercial for Canadian audiences, and it's pretty great:


It's a similar idea to what the Leafs and Coke Zero do at rec leagues around Toronto with their Ambushes. For those unfamiliar with this, the Leafs game crew descends on unsuspecting hockey teams and gives them a true game experience, with Leafs players coaching, Joe Bowen announcing, and even fun little intermission games. For all those beer leaguers still plugging away playing the game they love, it's definitely an experience they'll never forget and a good motivator to play one of the best games of their careers!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Wax Stain Rookie: The Big E

Wax Stain Wednesday is a regular feature on Dirty Dangle. Our pal Dave at Wax Stain Rookie is an avid autograph and card collector and has some amazing experiences to share with us. WARNING: these posts may make you want to buy a Beckett and get those dusty hockey cards out from under your bed that you hide from your girlfriend like a secret porn collection.
The name Eric Lindros certainly brings back a lot of memories for me. I can categorize the memories into three groups (before the NHL draft, his playing days and his legacy). Before he was drafted, I don’t think I have seen another player come into the NHL with the same amount of hype (that even includes Crosby and Ovechkin). Score went as far as to ensure that they were the only company with an NHL license that could print his cards. For what it is worth, he was every bit as good as a junior player as people expected. He was a man playing against boys and his World Junior medals, and Canada Cup Championship only proved his ability at a young age.

Erik Cole: A Giant in Montreal

As a Toronto Maple Leafs fan, it is my job to laugh at the Montreal Canadiens and their short comings this season (short comings can also relate to the size of most of their players). This year I've had plenty of material to laugh about: Scott Gomez goalless drought, the battles of what language the coach speaks, trading Mike Cammalleri mid-game, and the usual injuries that have most of their defenceman skating on one leg.

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