Here are the rules:
- For every completed trade.
- Any time a TV analyst talks about next season.
- Every time "CapGeek" is mentioned.
- Any time you think to yourself, "Fuck, this trade deadline sucks."
- Any time a GM is shown on their phone.
- Every time Jay Onrait is shown at home in a robe.
- For every "conditional draft pick" traded.
- Any time a reporter mentions a player has just left the ice or is not at practice.
- If a player with a cap hit of $5M or more is traded.
- Any time a family member calls or texts you about a trade.
- Any time a reporter or analyst seem genuinely bored.
- If a player being interviewed says he learned of the trade while watching TV.
- If a first round pick is traded.
- If you catch a reporter or analyst eating on TV.
- If a player you've never heard of is traded.
- If a trade is made that completely shocks you.
- If you are fooled by a fake Insider account.
- If Brian Burke finds a way to get on TV.
- If the Oilers and Blue Jackets are buyers and make trades for the playoff push.
- If an announced trade falls through (think Iginla to Boston).
- Fill the tallest glass in your house with beer and drink if 6'7" Ben Bishop is traded.
Do a Jager Bomb if Jaromir Jagr is dealt.
- If Miikka Kiprusoff is traded, fill up your water bottle with Finlandia vodka and go let your kids light you up during some road hockey.
Shot of Nyquil if Jarome Iginla is traded.
- Mix together a shot of various hard liquors and writhe in pain on the floor if Mike Ribeiro is traded.