What To Expect From The Stanley Cup Final

The Stanley Cup Final kicks off in a few days and hockey writers and media outlets are busy coming up with bold predictions and searching for intriguing storylines they can use to promote the Final even more (as if it not being the Stanley Cup Final is enough). From coaching matchups to how the special teams match up, literally every area of the game will be evaluated to see who has the edge.

Here are a few things we're sure you will hear over and over again during these playoffs either from mainstream media or smucks like us on Twitter.

• Patrick Kane likes to party and he's a big drunk. 
• Zdeno is 6'9" and has a really long reach. Just picture Pierre McGuire saying that in a really perverted way. 
• This is the first Original Six matchup since 1979 when Scotty Bowman coached the Montreal Canadiens to 5-game series victory over the New York Rangers. 
• Both teams faced adversity, but ultimately overcame opposing teams shitting the bed with either a 4-1 lead with 10 minutes remaining in a game 7 or a 3-1 series lead. 
• Bryan Bickell is a steal at a $541,000 cap hit and is a UFA at the end of the season. Will he stay or will he go? 
• Brad Marchand is a modern day Pinocchio, but his nose only grows when he is being a pest. 
• Brandon Sadd is a man child and a great player. Hard to believe he's only 20 years old. 
• Fuck this hurts to write. Yes, Tuukka Rask, was drafted by the Maple Leafs and traded for Andrew Raycroft. Peter Chiarelli twists this knife even more by saying it could have Jiri Tlusty for Raycroft. 
• Patrick Sharp is a very handsome man; so I am told by the ladies at work. 
• Wade Redden has gone from buried in the minors to the Stanley Cup Final. Not a bad story for a guy screwed over by Glen Sather. 
• David Krejci is the clear cut playoffs points leader with 21 points. How the hell did that happen?