Thursday, July 4, 2013

2013 NHL Free Agent Frenzy Drinking Game

The free agent market officially opens today and while the crop isn't too strong this year it's still a tradition to grab some beers and be letdown. Notable big fish have already made their decisions, but the frenzy should still be fun with compliance buyouts and a decreased salary cap thrown into the mix. So study your list of available free agents, turn on TSN, overdose on Twitter and get ready to drink.

Here are the rules:

One Drink

  • For every free agent signing.
  • Any time "CBA" is mentioned. 
  • Every time you hear or read "sources say". 
  • Any time the panel reviews the best available players. 

Two Drinks

  • Every time an NHL GM is shown on TV.
  • Every time you check CapGeek.
  • If a players agent name is mentioned (examples: Allan Walsh, Don Meehan, etc).
  • If a UFA player resigns with their team.

Three Drinks

  • When a recently signed player is interviewed over the phone.
  • If you miss a signing because you were getting a new drink.
  • If a player over the age of 35 signs a new contract.
  • When a recently bought out player is signed. 

Four Drinks

  • If the Montreal Canadiens sign a French player.
  • For every deal worth over $5M/year. 
  • If a player over the age of 40 signs a new contract.
  • If you think Paul Holmgren is confusing reality with his NHL 13 Be A GM mode.


  • If you fall for a fake Twitter account announcing a signing.
  • If Rick DiPietro signs anything longer than a one-year deal.
  • If a restricted free agent signs an offer sheet.
  • Any time during the day you remember a past free agent signing your team made that you wish they never had.


  • Shot of Finlandia if Teemu Selanne signs to play another season. #TeemuForever
  • If Andrew Ference signs hug a tree and finish your drink. 
  • Mandatory Jager Bomb when Jaromir Jagr signs.
  • Screech-In whenever a Newfie is signed (Michael Ryder, Dan Cleary, and Ryane Clowe).
Have fun and don't be an idiot, drink responsibly. 

1 comment:

  1. - 4 drinks if Phil Kessel tweets after Bozak signs with the Leafs.


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