Wednesday, July 3, 2013

The Best Names Of The 2013 NHL Draft

Bo knows... how to put a jersey on.
Every year a new crop of kids are drafted into the NHL and every year some great hockey names are born. Names like Zarley Zalapski, Tony Twist and Hakan Loob are classics in the hockey world and it's time to look at some of the great new names we could be hearing for the next couple of years.

Here are our top 10 names from the 2013 NHL Entry Draft:

Kerby Rychel

Columbus Blue Jackets, 1st round, 19th overall
The son of Warren Rychel also shares the same name (almost) of the most illegal character to play with in Super Smash Bros. Seriously, I used to hate playing this game in Res simply because you could never catch that fucking pink blob. Hopefully Kerby gives similar fits in the NHL.

Marko Dano

Columbus Blue Jackets, 1st round, 27th overall
Officer BOBROVSKY and a guy named Dano on the same team? Jay Onrait's dream.

Connor Crisp

Montreal Canadiens, 3rd Round, 71st overall
This name just has a nice ring to it. It's hard not to say Crisp without letting that S and P linger. Based on his name, young Connor will have to do everything as crisp as possible, especially passing.

Cole Cassels

Vancouver Canucks, 3rd round, 85th overall
These same consonant full names just sound awesome, although Cole Cassels sounds more like the name of a NASCAR driver.

Bo Horvat

Vancouver Canucks, 1st round, 9th overall
This Bo knows hockey and we really hope the Canucks PR department takes advantage of his badass first name to advertise.

Bogdan Yakimov

Edmonton Oilers, 3rd round, 83rd overall
Yakimov is a beast at 6'5", 202lbs and has a pretty intimidating name to go with it. The real fun will come for broadcasters if Yakimov and Nail Yakupov end up on the same line one day.

Miles Wood

New Jersey Devils, 4th round, 100th overall
We're immature and still laugh at phallic names. If Miles can't cut it at hockey, porn could always be an option if his middle name is "of"

Wilhelm Westlund

Colorado Avalanche, 7th round, 183rd overall
William is just so boring, but Wilhelm really spices things up. You don't meet too many kids named Wilhelm these days (#64 most popular name in Sweden though). This Swede isn't the biggest guy on D, but at least he has a badass name that sounds like he kills vampires for a living.

Christopher Clapperton

Florida Panthers, 5th round, 122nd overall
It's unconfirmed if all of Clapperton's 34 goals last year came by way of the clapper, but we hope that's the only shot he knows how to take. He might also have one of the worst nicknames of all time if he gets a reputation and is called "The Clap".

Marc McNulty

Detroit Red Wings, 6th round, 169nd overall
This name is mostly great because it reminds us of Jimmy McNulty from The Wire. Just picture this kid getting a penalty and dropping a "what the fuck did I do?"

1 comment:

  1. Any reference to The Wire is a thumbs up


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