
Here's how we imagine a few of the NHLers are spending their Olympic breaks:
- Tyler Bozak will be throwing a few shakers with roomie Phil Kessel away, but shouldn't miss his buddy too much as James van Riemsdyk will keep them connected.
- While watching Canada's games, Marc-Andre Fleury will choke on his popcorn and that he wouldn't have been able to handle the big stage despite a league leading 31 wins.
- Jiri Hudler will be working on changing his Czech citizenship as someone running that team must hate him and his international career with them going forward doesn't look too good.
- You can almost guarantee that Claude Giroux won't be golfing down south over the break. Instead he will spend most of the break pulling a Bieber by throwing eggs at Steve Yzerman's house.
- David Clarkson is actually in Sochi protecting Team Canada's water bottles.
- Jason Spezza will be watching Seinfeld reruns:
- Every Buffalo Sabres player will be getting the hell out of that dump and heading somewhere warm.
- Tyler Seguin and Brad Marchand have VIP rooms booked at Temptations Resort in Cancun.
- Bobby Ryan and Keith Yandle are going to have a darts tourney, but with Brian Burke's face on the board instead.
- Sadly, Todd Bertuzzi will be drinking alone somewhere.
- Eric Staal is tracking down all those Cheerios cereal boxes with his Olympic picture and having a massive bonfire.
- There's a pretty good chance James Reimer will be helping Brain Rafalski build a church somewhere.
- Taylor Hall and Jordan Eberle are shutting it down in Edmonton with two weeks worth of Kraft Dinner:
- Milan Lucic is definitely not hanging out in downtown Vancouver.
- Mike Fisher plans on watching The Sound of Music on loop starring his smokeshow of a wife.
- Steven Stamkos will be throwing back quinoa salads and chia shakes while riding a stationary bike like a madman. He's going to go on a tear when he returns.
- Dany Heatley is being a fucking All-Star and still spending some of Eugene Melnyk's money on strippers and different toys for his cottage.
- Nail Yakupov is travelling around North America talking to all the NHL general managers and begging them to trade for him.
- Jeff Skinner is going to dust off his old figure skates and see if he's still got it so he can make a run for Pyeongchang in 2018 and be the only NHLer at the Olympics that year:
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