Tuesday, March 4, 2014

2014 NHL Trade Deadline Day Drinking Game!

There's really only one thing that can make watching hockey analysts and ex-NHL scrubs talk about potential trades for 8+ hours and that's alcohol. Often a letdown, Trade Deadline Day is still a big deal in the hockey world as teams look to stock up before a playoff run or in Buffalo's case, stock the cupboard for the next two NHL Entry Drafts. There's already been a lot of trade action on the eve of Trade Deadline Day which means you're playing catch up to start the day so grab some beers, grab some liquor, fire up NHL 14 and order some Za to get you through the day! 

Remember, don't be an idiot and please drink responsibly.

Here are the rules:

1 Drink

  • For every completed trade.
  • Any time a TV analyst talks about next season.
  • Every time "CapGeek" is mentioned.
  • Any time you think to yourself: "Fuck, this trade deadline sucks."

2 Drinks

  • Any time a GM is shown on their phone.
  • If you switch to a network after an announced trade and that trade hasn't been mentioned on air yet. Double up if Kypreos breaks a trade first
  • For every "conditional draft pick" traded. 
  • Any time a reporter mentions a player has just left the ice or is not at practice.

3 Drinks

  • If an assistant captain or captain is traded. 
  • Any time a family member or friend calls or texts you to talk about a trade. 
  • If a player being interviewed says he learned of the trade while watching TV. 
  • Any time a reporter or analyst seems genuinely bored. 

4 Drinks

  • If a player with a cap hit of $5M or more is traded.
  • If a first round pick is traded.
  • If you've never heard of a player that was traded. 
  • If a player waives their no trade clause.


  • If you are fooled by a fake insider account.
  • If Brian Burke finds a way to get on TV.
  • If a player already traded this season is dealt again.
  • If you catch a reporter or analyst eating on TV.

Special Drinks

  • If a 40+ year old is traded (Jags, Whitney, Marty) get out your oldest scotch. 
  • This one might get you knocked out, but if Ryan Callahan is traded, try and block someone from taking a shot and take it down yourself. 
  • Head to the nearest dive bar if Ryan Kesler is traded and drink in honour of his ability to tumble.
  • If Marian Gaborik is traded than you're allowed to get hammered and call in sick or injured for tomorrow's school or work day.

1 comment:

  1. How did the Leafs not make one single move..What the Hell


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