Wednesday, July 2, 2014

NHLers Funniest Arrests

Giroux still wheeling while in cuffs via Reddit user, DeezMaster
NHLers are human beings too and can behave just as stupidly off the ice as they can on the ice. This was demonstrated yesterday as Philadelphia Flyers captain, Claude Giroux, was arrested for repeatedly grabbing the buttocks of a male police officer and ended up having to spend the night in jail for his copping a feel. It was the talk of the water cooler today as even though he was released without charges it was a very bizarre incident. This led to some talk and reminiscing about some of the more embarrassing NHL player arrest stories in recent memory. With this in mind we're not including incidents where people were injured such as Patrick Kane's no-tip cab ride or Ed Belfour's $1 billion bribe because that's not cool and we're not going to laugh at a victim's expense.

Here are some of our favourite NHL player arrests:

Dustin Byfuglien - Boating while intoxicated

Easily the most surprising thing about this arrest was Byfuglien weighed in at 286lbs when the Hennepin County Sheriff’s Office in Minneapolis booked the Winnipeg Jet defenceman. According to police reports, Big Buff, was slurring, had trouble standing and smelled of alcohol when he was pulled over on the lake. A police drug recognition expert also said he looked under the influence of drugs with watery eyes, high pulse rate, and a distinct brown stain on his tongue (probably chocolate). Byfuglien passed a breathalyzer with a 0.03, but given his weight at the time he could have still downed a 26oz and passed the test. The maximum penalty for a conviction of this crime was one year in jail and a $3,000 fine, but in the end the charges were reduced to "careless boating" and he ended up paying a $1,000 fine and picking up garbage for two days. Pretty funny arrest made even funnier by Jets fans shitting their pants thinking they were getting a blob on the blueline.

Ryan O'Byrne - Felony grand theft

Have you heard the one about the professional athlete who walks into a bar and steals a woman's purse? O'Byrne and the Canadiens were on a Tampa road trip at the time and had just finished a Habs rookie dinner when shit got real around 3am at a nightclub. The story goes that a young lady reported her purse missing to bouncers and they caught O'Byrne rifling through her purse and holding her phone outside the club. When confronted, he claimed it was his girlfriend's which was easily found to be untrue when he could not give a name for his girlfriend. In addition, $20 was also reported missing from the purse (at the time, O'Byrne was making $590,000 in the NHL). There's a rumour out there that O'Byrne was trying to delete compromising photos from the woman's phone which featured a married teammate doing not so marital things. It would make sense for him to have the woman's purse and phone while trying to protect a scumbag teammate and in the end the charges were dropped after he apologized to the woman and agreed to do community service.

Jay Rosehill - Felony charge of third-degree grand larceny

This is a gem of a story as the current Flyer was arrested during his Norfolk Admirals days in 2007 for stealing a car while on a road trip in Binghamton, New York. Legend has it that an employee at a strip club started her car and left it to warm up. Enter Jay Rosehill who see's the running car and drives to another strip club where he's spotted by police and flees from the car. Thanks to Pension Plan Puppets we know that the two strip clubs were in close proximity and Rosehill only had to drive for 13 seconds to his destination. Jay Rosehill: stealing cars from strippers to drive down the block.

Jordan Staal - Disorderly conduct, consumption of alcohol while under 21 years of age, and obstructing the legal process

It's a classic case of a bachelor party out of control and being caught drinking as a teenager in the United States. Jordan was 18-years-old at the time and fresh off that 29-goal rookie season when he was one of 14 men busted at a resort in Minnesota for causing a raucous during a bachelor party for his big brother, Eric. The story goes that the party was pretty loud and they ended up getting kicked out of the resort at 3am. The group then headed down to the highway and began harassing motorists. What that entails we don't know, but we can only assume there was a lot of mooning going on. The police roll in and some of the guys head for the woods (thus obstructing the legal process) and play hide-and-go-seek with state troopers. Sounds like a fun night, but where the hell was Marc?

Riley Sheahan - Driving under the influence

First off, drunk driving is one of the dumbest things you can ever do. In Sheahan's case, there are parts not related to the offence that make this arrest laughable and we're so glad it's on tape. Sheahan was arrested while driving down the wrong way on a one-way street and subsequently failed a sobriety test and blew a 0.30. Under a new Michigan DUI law, Sheahan was deemed "super drunk" and arrested for operating a vehicle with a blood-alcohol level higher than 0.17. The real offence is not funny and incredibly dangerous, but Sheahan was also caught using his teammate Brendan Smith's ID which the 20-year-old used to get into bars. On top of that, he was dressed up as the purple teletubby known as Tinky Winky. He was arrested on October 29th and we hope he was attending a Halloween party that evening. Sheahan pleaded guilty and had to pay a $1,325 fine and agreed to complete 49 hours on a work crew, attend victim impact classes and serve 12 months of probation. The good news out of this is the Red Wings rookie has sworn off booze.


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